Then I realized that it must be my professor's son.
Toward the end of the lecture, my professor told his son to stand up in front of all the students and help him with a teaching demonstration. During the demonstration, my professor's face was painted with a goofy smile that displayed his immense happiness of having his little kid around.
There was something magical about watching my professor acting fatherly in the classroom.
I remember my first impression of him on the first day of school: strict and too serious. Over time, however, that impression of him broke down and a new impression of him developed. He started to become more of a father-figure and more of someone I could look up to. He even became handsome...
Oh gosh, I never thought I'd say that.
During the demonstration, I looked around at the other students' faces and they too were smiling. The mood of the classroom at this instant felt different. It felt more friendly, more comfortable. It exuded a feeling of being at home with loved ones.
It was a feeling that everyone in the world should experience.
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As I sit here typing this out on my laptop, I wonder to myself: Will I ever be a father? If so, would I be a good one?
I envy my professor not because I don't have that relationship with my dad but because I question if I'll be a good dad to my children someday...
How do children cope with having gay parents?
With having no mom or no dad?
Will they fare well with other children teasing them for having gay parents?
Or is it something that they'll be willing to lie about to keep it a secret?
Will they come to secretly despise having gay parents?
Will other people question the safety of a young boy in the hands of two gay men?
Although I'd love to be a dad someday, I don't want to have children if I'm not ready to handle all the challenges that gay parents face. That would be a huge mess...
Because it's an uphill battle.
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