What Makes A Man (Chapter 3)

 What Makes A Man is an ongoing series about a young gay man and is based on personal real-life experiences.

Read.
What Makes A Man
What Makes A Man (Part 2)

Food was on his mind.

For this reason he was at the grocery store and waiting in line to pay for his lunch.  The young man's stomach was a bear and it was growling for food to satisfy its growing hunger.  He wished that the line would move faster.

Rumble.  His stomach was growling.

As the young man waited in line, his eyes and his mind wandered.

To his right there was a Caucasian man lifting up his little boy and placing him into the child seat of the grocery cart.  It was nothing particularly special and he didn't think much of it...

...until he saw an Asian man helping out.

Slowly he realized that the two men were together; that is to say, they were a couple.  He was sure of it.  They wore matching pink shirts and they were shopping together with their kid.

He had never witnessed a gay family out in public before.  He sees gay couples regularly in real life - in fact he would see two boys flirting shamelessly with each other that very same day - but not gay families.  For some reason, gay families are a rare sight to behold.

And what do you know?
It is a little funny how he had suddenly forgotten that he was hungry.

He was busy admiring their bravery, their courage.  Maybe someday he himself will have a husband and children.  Maybe.  It all feels impossible sometimes.  After all, it would take a lot of courage and faith to make those dreams come true and he just wasn't sure if he had it in him.  Finding his Prince Charming would be a huge accomplishment just by itself.

"Ready?" asked the cashier.

"Wha-... Oh.  Yes, I'm ready."

He paid for his food, took one last glance at the happy family, and left the grocery store. 

---

This happened on Thursday January 28, 2013.  I was on my way home from school and stopped by the grocery store to grab something to eat.

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The Toilet and the Handsome Man

This happened at Huntington Beach on my trip to California two summers ago.

 I began writing this blog post half a year ago.  However I didn't know exactly why I would want to share this story with the world, so I decided to save it as a draft and come back to it in the future. 

Well, the future is now.  Enjoy.

Me stepping onto the beach for the first time.  May 28, 2011. 

 

---

My friend and I were walking along Huntington Beach in California.  It was my first time visiting a beach on the mainland and I was a little shocked.  The sun was shining brightly in the summer-sky...

...but brrrrr, I still felt cold. 

The wind tickled my skin with its cold fingers as it penetrated through my jacket.  Although my jacket sufficed at keeping me warm back in Hawaii, it wasn't protecting me against the coldness that I was feeling.   As strange as it sounds, a part of me wished that I had worn pants instead of board shorts to the beach.

"I gotta use the bathroom," I told my friend.

"Okay, I'll wait here," my friend replied.

The bathroom was similar to a portable toilet except that it wasn't portable.  I entered the bathroom and I didn't like what I saw.  The toilet was a monster, a hideous monster covered in distasteful smudges and poisonous stains.  I was ready to run away.  Luckily, all I had to do was piss and I wouldn't have to touch the toilet seat.

After I finished relieving myself, I looked down at the sad-looking toilet.  I could have decided to leave the toilet as dirty as it was and just walk away.  After all, that is what the person before me had done.

But I didn't.

I grabbed a handful of toilet paper and started to wipe away the filth that covered the toilet.  I honestly hoped that I was using enough toilet paper, because I didn't want my hand to touch the dirty toilet seat.  After wiping, wiping, and more wiping the toilet was impressively clean and I had graduated from the position of instantaneous janitor.

Wow, that looks much better, I thought.

The toilet was no longer a hideous, ugly monster, but the safe haven for nature-calling that it was meant to be.

I opened the door and there was a handsome man waiting to use the bathroom.  He was an attractive, fit white gentleman somewhere in his mid or late 30's.  I smiled at him and he smiled at me.  The man walked past me and into the bathroom that I had exited.

I walked over to my friend.

"Ready to go?" he asked me.

I replied with a yes. 

Side by side, we continued to walk along Huntington Beach. 

---

This simple story has a simple point:  The little things do matter. 

More pics taken that day.  It was freezing as I walked the boardwalk.

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My Little Cousin

My little cousin Jerlyn was driving me home a couple months ago.

She had recently moved back to Hawaii after being away for six years.  It had been so long ago when she moved away.  I remember how I felt when she and her family moved away during my senior year in high school; I wanted them to turn the plane around and come back home.

"Do you think I'm beautiful?" she asked me.

"Umm..." 

I was hesitating to reply.  How exactly was I supposed to answer this?  My cousin is about 5 feet 5 inches tall and can be considered somewhere between overweight and obese.  I knew that what I say could really make an impression on her, good or bad.  She is only 18 years old and still trying to find her footing in this world.

She said, "There are some girls out there that are drop-dead gorgeous.  I just want your opinion.  How do I compare to all those really gorgeous girls?  Guys tell me I am beautiful - a black guy even gave me his phone number while I was waiting at the bus stop - but I just don't feel like I am good looking.  I really don't."

I didn't like what I was hearing.  I once read somewhere that people can be the cruelest not to others but to themselves ("Look at me.  I'll never be good enough").  I carefully thought about what I would say.  Then I said it.

"Remember the time I wanted to use the bathroom at McDonalds but the men's bathroom was closed so I ran to Walmart to use the bathroom?   I remember that me and your brother were waiting in line to order and you were using the bathroom.  When you came out of the bathroom and was walking towards us, I had been thinking to myself, 'Wow, Jerlyn looks very beautiful and classy."

I was telling the truth.  Even now I can picture her as she was walking toward me that day.  She had been glowing.  If only she could see what I see in her.  She has so much potential, so much natural elegance.

"Really?  Awe thank you.  That's very sweet of you," she said. 

The best thing that I could have done for her was show her that I love her. 
And I believe I did just that.




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What Makes A Man (Part 2)

Before reading this post I suggest you read this previous post, What Makes A Man.

Read more about this picture here:
What Makes A Man



The city was once again alive.
People were crossing sidewalks, driving fancy cars, and wearing expensive business suits as they rushed to work and other places.

A young man was standing on the sidewalk, waiting for the bus to come.  On the road next to him, cars waited impatiently for red lights to turn green and roared with excitement when the lights finally did.  In the background somewhere, the young fella could faintly hear a love song playing.

The young man looked around and wondered where the music was coming from.  He looked at the line of cars in front of him and realized that the music was coming from a truck.  He peered into the truck and saw two masculine looking military men.  They were smiling and enjoying each other's company.  They looked as if they could be lovers, young and in love.

His imagination took over for a second and he began to see things...

The guy in the passenger seat leaned over and planted a light kiss on the cheek of the handsome driver, who in turn smiled and blushed from his lover's affection.  The passenger continued to lean over and whispered something in the driver's ear.  The confession of love caused the driver to smile once again.  The driver turned his head toward the passenger and their lips met...

Then reality set in.
The traffic light turned green and the truck roared with life and sped away. 

The young man would never know for sure, but he continued to harp on the thought of the two men being couple.  The idea of two men being in love with each other appealed to him, although, he would never tell anyone this.  He had always been the type to bottle his emotions and feelings inside.  Sometimes he wished that he would be more open about himself, his wishes, his dreams, his sexuality...

The bus came shortly afterwards.  The young man stepped onto the bus and made his way home.

---

Based on a true story.  

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My Dad's Chicken Farm

This happened around November of last year.  There were periods of time during the school semester where I would be kept busy.  Sometimes I would leave early in the morning for school before the sunrise and then come home late from school, after the sun had already set and when it was dark.  This happened at the end of one of those days...

---

I was tired. 
My youthful energy had been replaced with exhaustion and my spirit felt diminished.  It was yet another day of me coming home late from school and it was already dark outside.

Awe, that's too bad, I thought.  I really wanted to see how the chicken house was doing.  My dad had always loved farming, hiking, fishing and outdoor activites of that sort and his newest project had been to build a chicken house.

"Did you finish the chicken house?" I wearily asked my dad.

"Yeah, you should see it..." 

My dad proceeded to describe how great the chicken house had turned out and how much the chickens enjoyed their new living area.  I was glad to know that it had turned out well; after all, I had helped my dad build the chicken farm.  My dad must have known how much I wanted to see it, because he was playfully rubbing it in my face.

I was slightly annoyed and decided to do something around the house and get my mind off of the chicken house.

---

Fifteen minutes later...

"Here's a flashlight.  Go check it out."

My dad handed me the flashlight.  I was surprised by how thoughtful my dad was being.  I stood up and I proceeded to the backyard to go look at the chicken house. 

My dad... sometimes I find him annoying and sometimes I love him. 
At this moment, it was the latter.




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