A Secret Letter

This is a letter that I'm writing to my sister-in-law.  She doesn't know about it and I won't show it to her until many years have passed.  I'll show it to her one day when she needs a smile the most.



My lovely sister-in-law
Taken on the day me and my dad got into the fight
Before we even knew there would be a fight
June 17, 2007

Dear sister-in-law,

Do you remember when we first met?  I was a junior in high school.
I was so young, always learning, and imperfect as can be.

My younger brother and I had finished school for the day and my older brother was picking us up.  The car pulled up next to us and there you sat in the passenger seat. 

We giggled at the sight of you
Because it looked like you could barely fit.
Because we were cruel.
Because we were still so young and learning.

We tried to calm ourselves down - before you could notice - as we got into the car.  I had a bag of delicious cookies that I had been eating but I stopped eating them; the sight of your fat arms made me sick and I was ready to throw up.

This is when we first met.  Do you remember?

Then you moved in with us a couple weeks later.  I noticed that you were somewhat lazy and didn't help much around the house.  You constantly picked fights with my older brother when he didn't do things your way.  You also smoked cigarettes regularly even though you had asthma, diabetes, and morbid obesity.  I tried to look past your flaws, because I wanted to believe that you were more than what you appeared to be.  A year passed and I was still searching for something that would prove to the world that you're not such a bad person. 

Then the fight happened.  Do you remember?

It happened a couple weeks after I came out to my dad.  The three of us - me, you, and my dad - were headed home from the beach.  My dad was criticizing my driving skills and ettiquete.  He said I was a rude person.  I had no idea why he was so angry at me and I told him I was trying my best.  Out of nowhere he started yelling at me about how being gay is wrong.  I quickly realized that the real reason behind his anger was because he was upset about me being gay.  His anger continued to escalate and he hit me while I was driving.

Do you remember?  You said you were scared.  I was too.

We arrived home and my siblings saw the tears in my eyes. 
They were silent and let me have my peace. 

But you...

You became my hero that day when you came to my side.
You asked if I was okay and gave me comfort.

I have wholeheartedly forgiven my dad.
And I can forget about what he did that day.
But I will never forget about what you did that day.

It is one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me.

After that day we became very close friends and side-by-side we slowly learned to become better people from each other.  I've watched you morph into a more positive person.  You've become more warm and more kind to others.

You have helped me learn that I need to be more accepting of other people if I want them to be accepting of who I am.  I know people give you nasty looks for being overweight.  Do you remember when we were eating at Jack-In-The-Box and those people kept staring at you?  At times like those, I'll gladly be by your side to comfort you.

I can't wait to have our next chocolate milk party.

Sincerely, Justy





Another picture we took on that day
Damn that shave ice tasted good



p.s. The two of us enjoyed throwing what we call "chocolate milk parties".  They usually happened late at night when everyone else was sleeping.  The two of us would drink as much chocolate milk as we wanted.  We would bang our mugs together and toast and laugh about how silly we were being.  Sometimes we would have cookies too.

She's in Texas right now with my older brother (he's stationed there for the army) so we haven't had a chocolate milk party in a while.  It's been about four months since I've seen her.

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