What Makes A Man

The drawing below was made by a guy I know very well.  When we were eleven years old, he confessed to me that he was gay.  He trusted me - the only person he trusted at the time - and trusted that I wouldn't tell anyone unless he was ready to come out of the closet.  As we entered college, he would tell me that he was still insecure with himself.

My friend believes that he's not the best at expressing himself - I agree - so he found an outlet for his insecurities: art.  He drew this picture and I was surprised by his drawing ability.  They say that when a person creates a piece of art, it is a self-portrait of themselves.  In this case it is true.  I see him when I look at this picture.

I made up a story to go with his drawing and I hope you enjoy it.

"What Makes A Man"
Colored pencils on paper
2009

The city was alive. 
People were crossing sidewalks, driving fancy cars, and wearing expensive business suits as they rushed to work and other places. 

A teenage guy sat there on the sidewalk, not in a rush like everyone else.  He wanted everything to stay still for a moment as he thought silently to himself.  What does it take to become a man?  Who does he want to be and what path did he want to take in life?

The young fella was practically invisible to the crowd around him, but he was used to it.  He knew the roles he played:  the lone wolf that nobody understood, the underdog that people overlooked, the middle child that never gets the attention.  Maybe all of this was true, but he didn't want these things to stop him from choosing who he wanted to become.  After all, isn't life supposed to be about choices?

Outwardly, he kept himself poised.  A warrior ready to take on the world.  The idea of exposing his weaknesses to the world was not his idea of fun, so he kept them hidden.  If you looked into his eyes, however, you would see a gentle sadness hidden there.  Even his sister has told him, "When you smile, I still see sadness in your eyes." 

The boy's sad eyes were caused by a constant inner struggle to become comfortable with his sexuality.  For this reason, he didn't mind being invisible to people at that moment.  At least they were oblivious to his insecurity of being a homosexual.

Slowly and surely, the boy finally stood up.  He still wasn't sure where he was going, but he realized that staying still was no way to get anywhere.  He took a step into the crowd and disappeared.

Now that you have read the story
you might have a few questions

You might be wondering,

"What ever happened to the guy in the story?"

I'll tell you if you just ask

but first keep reading.

Maybe you're wondering,

"Is this a true story?"

I'll gladly answer if you just ask
but first keep reading

Now you must be wondering,

"What is the purpose of this silly epilogue?"
I'll gladly give you the reason
but first keep reading

because I have to tell you something.

The guy who drew that picture has a blog and

 his blog...

well...

It's right here.

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